When Others Must Confirm My Ego

In the book The Years, the French writer Annie Ernaux describes a subtle but decisive shift that took shape in the 1990s. Political struggle, once centered on collective responsibility and shared well-being, gradually gave way to a culture of individual rights—rights increasingly framed in terms of consumption and personal recognition. What mattered less was how we lived together, and more how we were seen. As Ernaux puts it, life became oriented toward the demand that “others must confirm this ego”—an ego easily offended.

This shift did not happen overnight. Like most cultural transformations, it emerged through accumulation rather than rupture. But its consequences are profound. A culture that prioritizes recognition over relation slowly redirects attention from the world to the self. Attention no longer flows outward—toward others, toward shared reality—but loops back inward, seeking affirmation.

Read the rest in Psychology Today.

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